DEAR 16-YEAR-OLD TESHA,

“Youth is wasted on the young.” 

Bernard Shaw

Advice I would give to my sixteen-year-old self.

Have you ever thought about what you would say to your teenage self? I was recently hanging out with one of my best friends who has known me since I was 18. She didn’t know me in high school, but she’s definitely heard stories. It’s not that I was a bad kid in high school, but I was headstrong, boy-crazy, and insecure. I spent way too much time worrying about my looks and my image. Thankfully, and due to a lot of prayer on my parents’ part, I’m sure, I managed to become more grounded as I found my faith in college. I look back at my 16-year-old self and think about how I could have done things differently. I don’t have any regrets (life is too short for those) but I did think about some things I would say to my 16 year old self, if I were able to go back in time.

1: For the love of God, wear sunscreen!

Yeah, being tan is cool, but you know what else is cool? Even skin tone and not having wrinkles! Tesha, girl, you could have saved yourself some money spent on Botox in your 30s if you would have worn sunscreen and a hat in your teens and twenties.

2. Don’t pick at your pimples!

You know what else makes you look older in your 30s? Acne scars because you just couldn’t leave your face alone. You had to pick at everything – whether it was ready to be popped or not. Get some face wash, toner, and moisturizer and start taking care of your skin now!

3. You look great.

Ok, you might have some pimples, and you might be setting yourself up for skin cancer by not wearing sunscreen, but honestly, you still look good. Even in hot print leopard print pants and crimped hair. Enjoy it! Don’t waste time wishing you could be shorter, or that your eyes were a different color. You are healthy. Be grateful for the body that you have. It’s the only one you’re going to get.

My high school (and current) BFF Bonnie and me at our Sweet 16 Birthday

4. You are more than looks, you are smart.

You have trouble believing this right now. You feel like it’s cool to act dumb and like you don’t know things – when the truth is that you love learning. Start embracing it now, start paying better attention in all your classes, and soak in all that knowledge.

5. Be careful with boys’ hearts.

They are more vulnerable and fragile than you think. Do you remember the first girlfriend that your brother had in high school and how she broke his heart and you wanted to murder her? Well Tesh, you were that girl, too. Sometimes you knowingly led a guy on just because you could, and then you crushed him. That is not cool, it’s cruel, and it will shape how guys feel about and treat girls in the future.

Classic 16-year-old Tesha

6. Be careful with your heart.

Don’t give things away that you’re not ready to give. Don’t give your time and attention to someone who doesn’t really value you. Don’t let anyone manipulate you or talk you into things you’re not ready for. You are strong and smart and there are plenty of guys who will treat you well. Don’t waste your time on guys who don’t.

7. Be nicer to your mom.

Seriously Tesh, what is with all this attitude? Your mom is awesome. She is invested in you, and she is doing her best to be the best mom she knows how to be. And you are tough. You are moody, angsty and so dramatic. Cut her a break and give her a hug. Share your heart with her more often. She wants to be there for you, and IS there for you when you need her. She will be one of your best friends later in life.

My mom is the best!

8. Friends are more important than boys.

Don’t choose a boy over friends. Boys come and go – especially in high school. Can we just agree that you’re not going to marry any of these guys? So don’t blow off your friends, pick them. They are the ones that will still be around – even today.

Also, braids on you = not cool.

8. Try more things that you are bad at. Now is the time to learn how to do them.

You’re not bad at math, you’re just impatient. Also, take some hip hop classes, learn a language or practice playing an instrument. Right now you care A LOT about what other people think, so you don’t want to try things you might suck at. But it’s a lot easier to learn how to do these things now than it will be in a few years. Take time to try a variety of things.

9. Don’t spend so much energy hating the fact that you have a big butt.

You used to write in your journal that you wished your butt was smaller and not so “out there.” But in 2019, it’s cool to have a big booty!

So here’s the thing, Tesh. Your life is not going to turn out the way you thought it would. It will be full of heartaches you didn’t see coming, but it will also be better than you could have imagined. At 16, you would have thought being 35 was so old. You could have never imagined that at 35 you could still feel young and beautiful with so much still to anticipate. Heck, you could have never imagined that people would call you Dr. Waggoner.

Life is funny how it works out, but it is also about what you make it to be. You get to choose every day to be content, make good decisions, and to surround yourself with people who will walk with you.

Tesh you will make mistakes, bad decisions and have setbacks, but keep getting up and coming back to the table.

And for the love of God: Put on some sunscreen!